To the greatest loves of my life,
Crewe, before you were born I read ALL the books. I wanted to be a mom my entire life and I was going to be a good one. I remember reading one about breastfeeding and deciding I was going to nurse you until you were a year old. Well, it wasn’t quite that simple and we had a little bit of a rocky beginning. . . and then a rocky end. When you were 9 months old you bit me and like the book said I forcefully said “NO!” And set you down on the ground. And like the stubborn guy you are, you decided right then and there that our nursing relationship was over and never nursed again… no matter how hard I tried to get you to come back.
Blade, with you I was determined to reach that year mark. I figured it would be a piece of cake this time- after all, I knew what I was doing now! But you were sensitive to everything, couldn’t tolerate eggs, dairy, or caffeine and had a tongue tie. Looking back I’m pretty sure I had undiagnosed postpartum depression and probably should have given up trying to breastfeed because it was so incredibly difficult for us both. But we made it and settled into a nice routine until… one week before your first birthday, you decided that you were done and never nursed again… no matter how hard I tried to get you to come back.
Bowen, I knew you were my last. And I prayed before you were born that you’d be easy to nurse like Crewe, have none of Blade’s issues, and that I could finally reach that 1 year mark. (A silly arbitrary goal that I’m not sure why I felt I needed to reach so badly) Well, you didn’t have Blade’s sensitivities but definitely didn’t like dairy and again, had that pesky tongue tie. Once we got those things straight though, we did pretty good together and you allowed me to not only hit the 1 year mark but go all the way to 18 months together before you slowly weaned yourself (and me).
Looking at you three as growing boys makes me a little sad because my 3 sweet babies are gone forever, soon to be replaced with full blown men. Men who I hope will love and support their partners some day like your dad did for me. Because while nursing you all was not the easiest choice, it’s the one I desperately wanted to be our story and a story I will forever be grateful for- challenges and all.
I love you more than anything.
Paige is mom to 3 boys, 2 of whom had tongue ties and food sensitivities and one who was just incredibly stubborn. She nursed all 3 of them to oh, the one year mark or so.