I generally try to have something fun to talk about in my posts but today I want to talk about something that absolutely sucks and I feel like really doesn’t get talked about enough to moms-to-be: newborn reflux and food sensitivities. (But here’s a picture of a smiling newborn to make it better).

My first son was a piece of cake, a total trick baby that made me believe that I had this motherhood thing down. And then my second was born (and I could no longer eat cake)

He had reflux and he had it bad. Every time he ate he would arch his little back and scream in pain. I desperately wanted to nurse him like I had my first son but how could I do that when my milk was hurting him?

I cut everything out of my diet. I saw a breastfeeding meme that said something about “meal planning for a food sensitive baby” and it was a picture of a plate full of ice cubes. I burst into tears because it felt so painfully accurate.

It took us months to figure out his triggers and get his meds right. I saw chiropractors and cranial sacral therapists, we flew to Seattle to see a specialist and had his tongue tie clipped.

I stayed up late at night googling potential “cures” for reflux.

I asked my parents for a new carseat for my own birthday present because I read that convertible carseats were better than the infant buckets for reflux babies. (that actually did help with the screaming car rides!)

I got all kinds of unhelpful advice like “well maybe you should just formula feed?” Or “Maybe he just needs to be exposed to eggs so that his body can process them?” And the ever popular “I’m sure he’ll outgrow it eventually.”

I don’t blame these people- they just weren’t “in it” with me. Even my husband didn’t have the same intimacy with our son’s issues because he didn’t have the guilt of “what did I eat that has upset his stomach this time?” Or have the very real pain of full breasts and a baby refusing to eat coupled with raging postpartum hormones.

So I just want to say this to all of you mamas out there: you’ve got this and that baby is so lucky to have you. You know your baby the best and don’t let anyone tell you “it’s all in your head.” Mama instincts are real. And if you need someone to hold your baby so you can go cry in the shower, call me…